Pist OFF Christian

My Hand is Heavy, maybe because I haven't been here in a while. A Old friend of mine once said, "You have to go live the life to create the ART!" Well you can definitely Believe I have been living! My life is not my own but sometimes I wish I could have it back! I once sat under the Brooklyn Bridge with someone I new I wasn't going to marry. My eyes gazed across the water to see I was only on the wrong side. This was temporary. Maybe even necessary. It felt real but I new in the deepest place of me it was seasonal. See in seconds we can ignore pain, in minutes we can bury thoughts, in days we can forget our paths, and in years we can lock away our memories............................................... I have this memory in me, that every time I try to throw away it always finds it way to the surface of my heart. As if there was no closure, as if our time had just began! I'm once again reliving a past that no longer wants me. How was I so mistaken? How was I so Blind? How was I so effected? I feel Like I am rambling and this isn't the TRUTH!! But the TRUTH is I am PIST!!! Yes, I am a Christian that feels Pist OFF and Pist ON! Is that wrong of me to say? Is that wrong of me to be honest with not only myself but the LORD, He who knows the intent of my heart before I speak it. " Fear Not for I am with you," says the LORD. Yet I am not fearful, I'm tired! Yet the LORD says "Wait on the Lord and he will renew your strength, you will rise up on wings like eagles, you will run and not be weary, you will walk and not faint!!".... So I say Lets be honest Lord I am PIST. I look a fool! And the Lord tells me "Humble thyself before the Lord, Be-slow to anger"..... Yet I say I think 3 years is sufficient in being Slow To anger!!! I'm driven Miss Daisy here!! At what point is it Ok for me To GIVE UP!!! At what point Lord Can I be like every other christian you put around me that says I don't want to do it anymore. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't like this.... When is it my turn to have someone hold my hand... When is it my turn to have someone chase after me as I walk away!! When Can I just Be PIST!!! I tried to sing songs this morning of UN-Ending, Un-dyeing, Perfect Love!! I tried to be sincere in my heart. I truly wanted God to hear my heart!!! So the Lord gave me song which words were this....................... I Turn to you My LORD, I wanna Speak You bring the Heavens Joy, You Rain in Me! I kept thinking, I turn to you my LORD I wanna speak, I turn to you my LORD I wanna speak! So I turned and I speak, and this is what came out..

I AM PIST, Mr. I AM.....

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Family

My Brother and Sister and Me.

You have to Learn to Love and Honor Your family (after God) Before you can ever expect to Love anyone Else........  They right now are my LIGHT in the DARK

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Breath

Do you every feel the need to just stop for a minute? Seriously stop everything your doing. You don't know why, and you don't know what you are doing, but all you know is you can't go forward yet. Like the door you are walking into is open.You can see thru the crack but You can't enter into it yet. 

Well, that is where I have been for a month or so. Just completely at a standstill. So bad I had to go back home to where I am from to figure out... WHAT is IT!!!   It's Not God I am looking for because I know I am with  him. It is like God has led me to this spot specifically out of the way of the path he has me on. 

Imagine running on a road and you get a glimpse of a stream on the side of the road with beautiful flowers. Now IT is not in your path but you have to go take a look. I am at that stream. Smelling flowers. Looking at my reflection. Observing life... Now I know I have to get back on that road. But I need this moment. I need this so much but I don't no why. There is something on the side of this stream that has the answer to what I must experience up ahead. 

Now tomorrow. Tomorrow I must run again. Am I ready? I hope so. Do I feel like running yet? Not really. I will be honest I don't wanna stay here and I don't wanna go there. It is not that there is not a beautiful place either. It is just that I am tired of THERE. I have been THERE for 3 years. Running straight ahead. I need a curve in my path. I need a change of scenery. 

You know the craziest thing, is that God promised me when I get back on that road, it will change swiftly. I needed to breath this fresh air before he could finally show me all I have worked for. But I think I am scared I don't believe him. That I will begin to run and it will be the same course. The same circle....

Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenghth: They shall mount up with wings as eagles: they shall run and not be weary: and they shall walk and not faint."

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Def Poetry - Julian Curry - Niggers Niggas & Niggaz

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Only The Begining!!

"Oh I wish that Heaven Would Fall On Me"!!! But I won't wish all day. See my wishes are canceled out by Hope that will GO up in my Prayers... Raining Down with Faith that causes me to WALK, RUN, SPRINT........ Heaven if you don't fall on me, I will RUN TO YOU. I won't settle for anything less then!!!!


Hebrews 11:1 Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.


2 Corinthians 5:7 We will Live by Faith Not by sight.......


We are to live are ENTIRE LIVES by beleiving, hoping in the substance of things unseen..........

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Psalm 42 and Why?

OK So I don't wanna be that person that just posts scripture, like I am really saying something. See It is I over here that got the Revelation from God as I was reading this. So maybe you can feel what I felt when I read this today and maybe you won't... I Pray you did. But I am sorry it just really hit home for me. In the depths of my soul I am thirty for God yet I am terrified of my reality. How can we say we want more. To learn more to have more, yet when he puts more in front of us we run away like little children terrified...


I'm just tired of being the only one Fighting. No really really fighting. It seems as if everyone else gives up and uses excuses of how they feel to be a reason they can't go anymore. Knowing well enough the truth of what the Lord has told them. Oh why do you give up so easy!!!! WHY! If you know the truth and know what God says.. Why, Because of moments like these. When your enemy seems bigger then you. When your so thirsty for God you catch yourself hallucinating off of dehydration.


See today. I see God moving, and I do not like the way he is going. But guess what, Just like I say in my poem, I stay laced up for the race up!!! I may not like the way he is going but I bet you I am going to be where he is going. Following so close he will turn and say, " Brooke get off my heals." You know how your kids do when your in the shopping mart, following you with the cart right on your heals. Don't you get angry when they hit your heals... :) Well God I will for warn you. Get angry because I am on your heals.... Even when I feel like this psalm below... I hope, follow and wait.. I BELIEVE!!! What else is there.
I just have one question? Why don't you Believe..

Now: Psalm 42
To the choirmaster. A Maskil [fn] of the Sons of Korah. As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God? My tears have been my food day and night, while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?"
 These things I remember, as I pour out my soul: how I would go with the throng and lead them in procession to the house of God with glad shouts and songs of praise, a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you from the land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls; all your breakers and your waves have gone over me. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me, while they say to me continually, "Where is your God?" Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

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Easter 2009 - Blair Wingo - West Angeles COGIC

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Walk

I got on My knees and gave my life to Christ the day I met you!
I got up and started walking the day you left me.
FAITH
Faith is an Action word.... Walk by Faith
All Of Gods people Got out of slavery. Yet only a few walked in the Promise Land

Today..........

Freedom. Today I saw Youth at the heights of freedom. Youth that you would look at and see nothing that aluminates walking with Christ, except there Freedom.....

I felt Free... See I crave To be free. And no not One Nation Under God type of freedom.... But Free to Be me... The problem with the freedom I am searching for is Only God knows who I am, Truely. Now he has shown me glimpses lately of who he has called me to be, But I will be honest I dont know her from tommarow. But I feel her in the depths of my soul. She runs around free... Praising God at the highest PRAISE. She does not care who is around....

Oh how I want to be free.

I almost felt it today. With the youth. There Freedom brushed off into my soul. My soul was so thirsty for it. It drank it all in one gulp. I thought it would last. Yet hours later, nope.... It is gone.

Shake, Shake, my hands free. Where oh where did these chains come from that hold me hostage to myself. See Lets get one thing straight. I am past what you think of me. I promise I don't beleive you or the lies you tell. I know who God says I am... But that's it. I know who God says I am, but I dont know her...

Oh chains fall from my rist. You clamp so tight my wrist bleed. I want to go.. Let me go. Let me run. Let me jump. Let me sing to the heavens... I want my testimony. I want to praise with freedom.

See I saw it in my youth today. The older generation were looking like they were making a rukus. Not me. I saw them as free..... Lord, I pray that you never let the World strap chains on there Freedom.

Huh now what about me. Well I will fight this battle. By faith, One day, I two will be Free!!

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The Industry.. to the Promise Land... to the Industry

Fighting thru these words my lips are stained pursed and bruised.

My Body is entangled in this web, while my feet are trying to move.

I'm Lost without a map,

and the 1 person I find has answers to the way back.

To where I'm not trying to go.

Forward is the only direction my foot can race in.

And stop asking me about past,

he left with yesterday.

And see I don't hold on to denial and those that don't LOVE me....

I am not trying to make a life with failures,

where hell wins,

and prison begins to surround my room;

with vibrant colors and pictures that act like they don't belong here...

I refuse to hold on to a vision of UH HUH, KINDA, I think, and what I thought I new.

Looking for myself while I'm shopping in the wrong isle.

Next to the condoms, by the liquor, underneath the stack of Cosmo Magazines.

Maybe I'm just concentrating to hard,

and breathing to fast trying to race myself out of hear.

But hear is not where I belong,

The wilderness in not my home of choice.

Though my shoes will not tarry,

they stay laced up for the race up.

I'm running at high speed.

Yet, I do not care who is in front... Get THEE Behind ME...

I'm tired of letting you feel selfish.

You feel like I can't be number one because my past isn't a perfect vision,

of the life you choose to live in.

From the car you drive, the way you talk, down to the breath you take.

I'm not trying to be what you call an idol,

or your model of the role I did not ask to play.

Let me just inspire with inspiration,

of someone who failed, got up

AND KEPT RACING!!!!

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Open FLAMES yet Scripture Remains

Till Death Do you PART not for THE FAINT OF HEART

Obedience is better then sacrifice........ So Let me be Obedient...

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I walk with JESUS!

Always have NOT but now I always will!

I hope my life is enuff for u keep up with...

Build it and they will come you say.....

Follow as they ENTER! ENTER! Into my gates....

Psalm 45

My heart overflows with a good theme, I address my verses to the King: My tounge is the pen of a ready writer......

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