Do you every feel the need to just stop for a minute? Seriously stop everything your doing. You don't know why, and you don't know what you are doing, but all you know is you can't go forward yet. Like the door you are walking into is open.You can see thru the crack but You can't enter into it yet.
Well, that is where I have been for a month or so. Just completely at a standstill. So bad I had to go back home to where I am from to figure out... WHAT is IT!!! It's Not God I am looking for because I know I am with him. It is like God has led me to this spot specifically out of the way of the path he has me on.
Imagine running on a road and you get a glimpse of a stream on the side of the road with beautiful flowers. Now IT is not in your path but you have to go take a look. I am at that stream. Smelling flowers. Looking at my reflection. Observing life... Now I know I have to get back on that road. But I need this moment. I need this so much but I don't no why. There is something on the side of this stream that has the answer to what I must experience up ahead.
Now tomorrow. Tomorrow I must run again. Am I ready? I hope so. Do I feel like running yet? Not really. I will be honest I don't wanna stay here and I don't wanna go there. It is not that there is not a beautiful place either. It is just that I am tired of THERE. I have been THERE for 3 years. Running straight ahead. I need a curve in my path. I need a change of scenery.
You know the craziest thing, is that God promised me when I get back on that road, it will change swiftly. I needed to breath this fresh air before he could finally show me all I have worked for. But I think I am scared I don't believe him. That I will begin to run and it will be the same course. The same circle....
Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strenghth: They shall mount up with wings as eagles: they shall run and not be weary: and they shall walk and not faint."